Friday, January 5, 2007

DAY ONE

The purpose of this blog is to share my search for God in the midst of major transition and shift in my life, and to share the things I learn with those who want to walk along as well. What I hope to gain: I want direction. I want purity in the direction. I want to walk with God all the time, not just when I slow down to listen, I want to learn to listen to that voice all the time.

My husband gave me a book for Christmas which he often does. I usually think, "Oh, another book," and then what do ya know, its a book that changes me. For the best, I hope. This one is titled "Reordering Your Day" by Chuck Pierce. At first I thought, well, this is impossible. The book speaks of four Biblical "Watches" in the night. Praying and reading the Bible four times a night - impossible! That was my first reaction. Then I began to think, "why not?" For twenty one days. Why not. I will live with long periods of silence (since most of my audio is broken anyway) and listening. I will wake in the night I hope for 21 nights. And I will expect a miracle in my life.

DAY ONE

Around 6 pm I read Matthew 14:50-23 - Jesus pulled aside to a deserted place and went to the Mountain by himself to pray. I tried to quiet myself and asked God to remove all distractions. I began to twitch, my eyes wandered, my mind even more so, and I felt like a bit of a failure.

11:00 pm I read Exodus 11, emphasizing verse 4. Moses went out to the midst of Egypt at midnight. I asked God to intervene and deliver me. Considering my job or lack of it situation and the attacks I've had, ruptured discs, accusations, etc., I sincerely want intervention. I still feel midly distracted

3:00 am - Cockcrow - when Peter denied Jesus - I felt a bit of grief thinking how lazy my mind had become in spiritual things because of all I have been battling and realized the battle would be easier with God as my general in command.

6:39 am - well, I couldn't sleep anyway, so I battled an upset stomach and read Exodus 14, especially verse 24 when God looked down at the approaching Egyptians and "troubled" them. I asked Him to likewise trouble those enemies coming after me, I prayed for them to be confused. Well, yah, God go for it! Part of this watch though said to wait for the presence of God. I waited and waited. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't feel Him. But I knew He heard my words.

I'm waiting. I have a sense of anticipation and excitment!

So what did the day bring? The Sheriff knocking at my door wanting a key I forgot to turn in at the office. He was kind and sort of apologetic, bless his heart. But I had a horrible dread of him showing me a search warrant - which was uh, definitely unwarranted - he took the key and left. I thought, ok I prayed for God to vanquish my enemies, essentially, and one of them sends law enforcement to my door rather than to wait for me to walk the key in to her office in the afternoon.

My lesson: Don't expect a miracle the first day out. Maybe the short visit with the Sheriff was a miracle. Don't judge anything yet. Keep on trusting - God, and my "gut."

13 comments:

Heidi Grether said...

Good for you. I am rejoicing that I am finally SLEEPING the whole night through! But, I need an injection of faith and connectedness with Him myself. I will ask Him to help me. Look forward to reading with your journey.

Diane Viere said...

WOW! What a commitment you've made....what a worthwhile, amazing journey you have entered. I am so looking forward to reading with you your journey through the 21 nights. God Bless your journey!

Diane

Cynnie said...

aww punkin..

The sheriff?
bit of overkill dont ya think ?

Search for god baby..
you'll be so surprised when you find out where he is ( and where he's always been )..

Candy Minx said...

HI Gardenia,

What a strange but interesting book your hubby gave you...and I think you are a terribly good sport for trying it...and asking that it help you. It makes sense in a lot of ways though to have a book ready and to out wit the ego refusing to let you sleep. I should think that the surprise of your ego to find you reading something that does not build up it's power will bea difficult but worthwhile activity.

Our egos do not like it when we are kind loving people and put others first...and they sure don't like it when we read scriptures, spiriual texts or poetry. The ego rebels the poems and incatatory nature of the Bible and the Koran and the Rig Veda...poor ego...and our poor other peoples egos.

Good for you!

If you can mix into your life some good serious cardio walking. Theres nothing like a good honest fatigue to put our problems into perspective. A half hour walk at 6 p.m. followed by a light dinner of salad and protein...after two or three days with your nightly reading, you will rest (maybe not sleep) but rest like a babe.

Cynnie is absolutely correct...keep looking for God, because it's one of lifes most beautiful tricks when we see exactly where god lives!!!

I remember a good line in the movie "Bruce Almighty" where Jim Carrey's character is talking to Morgan Freemans character and Carrey is praying or pointing heaven. Morgan Freeman says "that's the trouble with people, you look for god and you always look UP"

Candy Minx said...

p.s. from the novel Franny and Zooey....

"I don't care where an actor acts. It can be in summer stock, it can be over the radio, it can be over television, it can be ina goddam Broadway theatre, complete with the most well-fed, most sunburned-looking audience you can imagine. But I'll tell you one a terrible secret-Are you listening to me? There isn't anyone out there who isn't Seymour's Fat Lady. That includes your Professor Tupper, buddy. And all his goddam cousins by the dozens. There isn't anyone anywhere that isn't Seymour's Fat Lady. Don't you know that? Don't you know that goddam secret yet? And don't you know-listen to me, now-don't you know who that Fat Lady really is?...Ah, buddy. It's Christ Himself. Christ Himself, buddy."

tweetey30 said...

Sounds interesting if nothing else. My husband and I do bible studies every Friday or Saturday night. Depending on when our Pastor gets back from work. He is trying to build a church so he dosnt always get home in time. But anyway we just read exodus 14 Saturday. Interesting story. I agree with everyone here. Keep reading and you will find what you are looking for hopefully. I know my husband and I have had a little trouble with what I posted a couple of weeks ago now but I think the big guy upstairs is watching out for us. Just keep reading and posting your journey for us to follow along with you.

Danielle said...

Amen, sister...keep on trusting God and your gut. He wired you for big things...praying for you...

Danielle said...

Missing you sweet Gardenia! You know...I thought...why did she chose this name? And it came to me...because your fragrance is sweet even in darkness. : )

Danielle said...

Tag you're it...cause you're weird like me! Check out today's post...

Klara said...

N God be with u on this!! Lovely day

Minerva Jane said...

can't find your new blog. (I know you sent me an invite once but alas lost to my inbox somewhere...)

Michelle said...

I'm with cynnie, "you'll be so surprised when you find out where he is ( and where he's always been )"

Some day, it will all click; just when you're ready to give up searching, when you've given up waiting, when you've given up praying that he will do your work and smite your enemies for you ... the strength of life; of belief; will come in to your life like a new dawn, there will be fresh energy in your own hands and in your heart ... and then you'll probably want to start the watch again from a different starting point.

I know, I know ... it all sounds stupid; until it happens.

What is probably more stupid is that these words are coming from someone like me.

Danielle said...

I think I lost a link to something...